☕ Vlogeti vlog ☕ Not happy...

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The sky is on fire.

I just had to go take a photo of this wonderful pink sky. This makes me happy and I LOVE my country.

And as well I hit 5000 views =) Kind of a milestone for me even tho it isnt that big.

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Not the perfect friend!

It is evening and dark outside now when I am sitting here writing this. I just thought I would share a little bit of myself in the early beginning of a new day. A little open and honest Lilli.

So where do I begin? Well I can say right off the bat that are you first my friend then you will always have a place in my heart. The ones that get in stay there. That goes for those I remember from my early childhood to those I will meet tomorrow. If you show you can be my friend then you will find your own little room in my heart.

But that wasnt really what I wanted to share in this post.

I just want to be allowed to tell you that I am not the perfect friend. I have a depression that at times fill my whole life so that there is only room for my closest family, like my children and my hubby. Even tho also he at times get placed on the sideline. But that doesnt mean I dont care. That doesnt mean I dont want to be your friend. That doesnt mean you cant say "hey, do you wanna do something today?". It really means the opposite. It helps me shift focus if someone says "hey, I am here. Do you wanna go take a cup of coffee?"

I dont mean anything bad with not being the one that gets in touch. I am just so terribly afraid to do so. I am so afraid to be rejected that I hide behind the safety of not being the one that gets in touch. But I promise I am a good conversation partner if someone gets in contact with me. I am also very carefull asking how are you. Why you might ask. Well because I myself sometimes dont really want anyone to ask me how I am. Why dont I want to be asked how I am? Well because then I have to start touching back into those dark feelings, and the stupid bad thoughts starts spinning again. And the focus is again back at the very thing I dont want to focus on.

I am not a bad friend, I am just so very much afraid. I can often cry myself to sleep because I wish to just wake up in the morning and say YES, I am the perfect friend. I CAN get in touch with people and I DONT have a depression anymore. The darkness is NOT within me anymore. But I cant. Unfortunatly the darkness fills me up each and every night. I dont controll it. The days go by ok cause I shift my focus onto what I have to, and that is my wonderful children. And I can finally say one thing, I have become a good mom. 9 years ago I wasnt, but with help I now am.

I want all of you that are my friends to know that I often think of you. I watch what you do, what happenes in your lives even tho I dont comment or like every thing you do I still see it. Sometimes I can catch myself looking at photos from happy gatherings of friends and wish and hope I had the same. But I am not the one that is tough enough to ask for it. Neither am I the one that can join in on everything. It is difficult to balance a life as fragile as mine. It doesnt take much to crush it. But at the same time my life is so strong.

I have come to the realisation that I am FUDGING strong that still am here. In the light of the media telling us all that the wonderful Robin Williams had taken his own life I started thinking about just that. I am just that, STRONG! I have fought a lonely battle for many many years. A battle against demons eating me up from the inside out. Demons I did not know I could get help with. Demons that made me think that I was normal to feel like this.Which is why I never asked for help.

But I am strong. I am a good friend, even tho I aint perfect. I have so much to give even if one have to ask for me to give it. I am just so afraid to offer it up on my own.

Soooo now I have cried myself through writing this post. Yeah yeah I know, probably silly of me. But it really means alot to be this honest with one self too.

♥ Hugs from Lilli ♥

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Channing Tatum Gay???

This new thing has been going around on facebook about Channing Tatum being gay. It is sooo hillarious.

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♡ Tutorial ♡ Matt daytime look

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Reginedagan 2014 - Eventyrsti

The last video from this years Reginedagan =)

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Robin Williams is gone =(

A great man has packed his makeup away for the last time. In shock sitting here reading that Robin Williams is dead. Suicide they think. Such a tormented soulc he had to have been to end his own life.

Thinking about all the laughter he gave others, maybe he had to little left for himself. What thoughts have to had gone through his head at the end we will never know, but it had to have been hurtful.

Have to say it is a little bit strange to see facebook fill up with messages about his death. He was so loved, but still had to have fealt so alone. The whole world has lost an amazing man that we will all remember forever. Here in my house there will be a Robin Williams marathon this weekend. So I can share the laughters with my daughter. Because I dont think he would have wanted the whole world to cry over him.

Sleep well you fabuolus fabuolus man. Hope your torments are quiet now. Now you can make my angels laugh every day. =)

♥ Hugs from Lilli ♥

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❤️ Rak ❤️ From the wonderfull Melissa

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I am ok being me!

This past few weeks has had alot going on. It has given me such a HUGE boost. Tho I am still second guessing wether I am good enough, I have kinda started to think that no matter what I am me. And I have started to like myself more. I have been struggling alot, I have just not been able to find myself. And find a reason to keep on going. It is like it doesnt really matter to anyone else so there is no one that will miss me if I stop. But then again I do wanna keep going.

I know I will never ever be a big time thing anywhere. But guess what I will still be me. And I think I have finally found that I will keep going. Now I just have to find the juice to get back into youtube. It is kinda like I now feel silly doing it again =P And as well I do think I am gonna start doing more norwegian videos. I know you all might not know what I am saying but hopefully you will at least see what I am doing =) Well enough of the life update. I am gonna get to what I was gonna do =P

My face after I atempted my makeup at the makeupclass with Storm Pedersen.


My babies are enjoying the summertime with mom. Late night outside at the caravan.


Hair in curlers, makeup done =P


Hair and makeup done for the show.


My outfit for the show. Minus the shoes and some bracelets.


Me and Storm Pedersen. Can I say starstruck much...


A mugshot with a supercute dog mug.


Me being a fairytale character =)


All soaking wet after a fantastic vglista show.


Me and the AMAZING Sivert Høyem =)

♥ Hugs from Lilli ♥

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Reginedagan 2014 - Fashion show

Here it is... FINALLY!!! The edited video from the fashion show. Hope you all enjoy.
 

Here are also some photos from the makeup I had on =)

Gonna put up some behind the scenes photos tomorrow for you all =)

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Ready for takeoff.

Sitting here waiting to get styled. Catwalk tonight. Bloody nervous...lol

Gonne do a little behind the scenes tomorrow. Today is packed full. 

Here I am befor it all. No makeup and wild hair. 

☕ Vlogeti vlog ☕ Just a little life update =)

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Stimulash Fusion update =)

Figured I would finally get this update on my lashes out there =P I have been putting this off for quite some time but finally found some energy to get it done =P

Here are my lashes befor starting to use Stimulash Fusion.

My lashes about 3-4 weeks into using it.

My lashes today. I have probably been using Stimulash Fusion for about 8-9 weeks now, but I have had these long lashes for about 2 weeks. So after around 6-7 weeks you can see a difference. Yes this one costs a little. I was so lucky to get it as a gift from my mom. But it sure does last a long time. My mom uses hers every night and she has used it for a year. So it lasts a long time =)

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Another sweater =)

Another sweater is now done. I really love being able to make my own. This one is a copy of one that has been on the catwalk =)

It is called the Acne-sweater =)

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Instagram O'hoy =P

A little instagram update from me. I decided I am gonna do some of these collections of what I have done on instagram since I am afterall a instagramaddict =P I think I will stick with 6 photos so that I dont make you look all day and all night =P

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Outshining the sun =)

Me and babygirl had a little photoshoot outside today. She has so many smiles and hugs for me that she always makes my heart happy no matter what =)

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New sweater knitted =)

Sitting here right now with a swollen finger and not able to knit anything at all =( So I just decided I would share my latest project that I have finished.

This is a sweater I had been thinking about making for myself for a long time. I could remember it from somewhere. And my mom could tell me that me grandma had one simular =) This is knitted all from my head. I am trying to get the instructions written down. Just have to make it understandable =P

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☕ Vlogeti vlog ☕ VM in Highland games

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VM in Highland games =)

Today we spent som amazing hours at VM in Highland games here in Alsvåg. It was soooo cool =) Strong men lifting stones. This was the Stones of Strenght contest.

Todays contest was in honor of big Johan Arnt. A huge fisherman from Øksnes. He was 214 cm tall, 160 cm around the chest, 60 cm around each arm and 177 kilos. A biiig man =P

 Some bagpipemusic is a must at Highland games.

 Some of the contestants. They were 7 all together. Todays contest was to carry a funny shaped stone weighing 180 kilo for as long as you can.

Here is my darling son with the winner of todays contest, Casey Garrison from USA. This dude carried 180 kilos a whole of 123 meters. He broke the standing record!
 

And of course I had to get my picture taken with the winner myself too. Such a polite man =)

♥ Hugs from Lilli ♥

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Weekend outfits =)

Last weekend me and my hubby went on a us trip where we got to enjoy each others company without the kids. I had a few outfits that weekend and wanted to share them with you lot =)

 This is the outfit I decided to leave home in.

 But we quickly realized we had to buy me a sweater =P So this was the first purchase of the weekend =P

 And I had to wear it most of the time cause it was freezing and I didnt bring any other warm sweaters =P

And here is my outfit from our datenight. It was so amazing to get to enjoy this time with my darling hubby. =)

♥ Hugs from Lilli ♥

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