☕ Vlogeti vlog ☕ Not happy...

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The sky is on fire.

I just had to go take a photo of this wonderful pink sky. This makes me happy and I LOVE my country.

And as well I hit 5000 views =) Kind of a milestone for me even tho it isnt that big.

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Not the perfect friend!

It is evening and dark outside now when I am sitting here writing this. I just thought I would share a little bit of myself in the early beginning of a new day. A little open and honest Lilli.

So where do I begin? Well I can say right off the bat that are you first my friend then you will always have a place in my heart. The ones that get in stay there. That goes for those I remember from my early childhood to those I will meet tomorrow. If you show you can be my friend then you will find your own little room in my heart.

But that wasnt really what I wanted to share in this post.

I just want to be allowed to tell you that I am not the perfect friend. I have a depression that at times fill my whole life so that there is only room for my closest family, like my children and my hubby. Even tho also he at times get placed on the sideline. But that doesnt mean I dont care. That doesnt mean I dont want to be your friend. That doesnt mean you cant say "hey, do you wanna do something today?". It really means the opposite. It helps me shift focus if someone says "hey, I am here. Do you wanna go take a cup of coffee?"

I dont mean anything bad with not being the one that gets in touch. I am just so terribly afraid to do so. I am so afraid to be rejected that I hide behind the safety of not being the one that gets in touch. But I promise I am a good conversation partner if someone gets in contact with me. I am also very carefull asking how are you. Why you might ask. Well because I myself sometimes dont really want anyone to ask me how I am. Why dont I want to be asked how I am? Well because then I have to start touching back into those dark feelings, and the stupid bad thoughts starts spinning again. And the focus is again back at the very thing I dont want to focus on.

I am not a bad friend, I am just so very much afraid. I can often cry myself to sleep because I wish to just wake up in the morning and say YES, I am the perfect friend. I CAN get in touch with people and I DONT have a depression anymore. The darkness is NOT within me anymore. But I cant. Unfortunatly the darkness fills me up each and every night. I dont controll it. The days go by ok cause I shift my focus onto what I have to, and that is my wonderful children. And I can finally say one thing, I have become a good mom. 9 years ago I wasnt, but with help I now am.

I want all of you that are my friends to know that I often think of you. I watch what you do, what happenes in your lives even tho I dont comment or like every thing you do I still see it. Sometimes I can catch myself looking at photos from happy gatherings of friends and wish and hope I had the same. But I am not the one that is tough enough to ask for it. Neither am I the one that can join in on everything. It is difficult to balance a life as fragile as mine. It doesnt take much to crush it. But at the same time my life is so strong.

I have come to the realisation that I am FUDGING strong that still am here. In the light of the media telling us all that the wonderful Robin Williams had taken his own life I started thinking about just that. I am just that, STRONG! I have fought a lonely battle for many many years. A battle against demons eating me up from the inside out. Demons I did not know I could get help with. Demons that made me think that I was normal to feel like this.Which is why I never asked for help.

But I am strong. I am a good friend, even tho I aint perfect. I have so much to give even if one have to ask for me to give it. I am just so afraid to offer it up on my own.

Soooo now I have cried myself through writing this post. Yeah yeah I know, probably silly of me. But it really means alot to be this honest with one self too.

♥ Hugs from Lilli ♥

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Channing Tatum Gay???

This new thing has been going around on facebook about Channing Tatum being gay. It is sooo hillarious.

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♡ Tutorial ♡ Matt daytime look

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Reginedagan 2014 - Eventyrsti

The last video from this years Reginedagan =)

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Robin Williams is gone =(

A great man has packed his makeup away for the last time. In shock sitting here reading that Robin Williams is dead. Suicide they think. Such a tormented soulc he had to have been to end his own life.

Thinking about all the laughter he gave others, maybe he had to little left for himself. What thoughts have to had gone through his head at the end we will never know, but it had to have been hurtful.

Have to say it is a little bit strange to see facebook fill up with messages about his death. He was so loved, but still had to have fealt so alone. The whole world has lost an amazing man that we will all remember forever. Here in my house there will be a Robin Williams marathon this weekend. So I can share the laughters with my daughter. Because I dont think he would have wanted the whole world to cry over him.

Sleep well you fabuolus fabuolus man. Hope your torments are quiet now. Now you can make my angels laugh every day. =)

♥ Hugs from Lilli ♥

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❤️ Rak ❤️ From the wonderfull Melissa

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I am ok being me!

This past few weeks has had alot going on. It has given me such a HUGE boost. Tho I am still second guessing wether I am good enough, I have kinda started to think that no matter what I am me. And I have started to like myself more. I have been struggling alot, I have just not been able to find myself. And find a reason to keep on going. It is like it doesnt really matter to anyone else so there is no one that will miss me if I stop. But then again I do wanna keep going.

I know I will never ever be a big time thing anywhere. But guess what I will still be me. And I think I have finally found that I will keep going. Now I just have to find the juice to get back into youtube. It is kinda like I now feel silly doing it again =P And as well I do think I am gonna start doing more norwegian videos. I know you all might not know what I am saying but hopefully you will at least see what I am doing =) Well enough of the life update. I am gonna get to what I was gonna do =P

My face after I atempted my makeup at the makeupclass with Storm Pedersen.


My babies are enjoying the summertime with mom. Late night outside at the caravan.


Hair in curlers, makeup done =P


Hair and makeup done for the show.


My outfit for the show. Minus the shoes and some bracelets.


Me and Storm Pedersen. Can I say starstruck much...


A mugshot with a supercute dog mug.


Me being a fairytale character =)


All soaking wet after a fantastic vglista show.


Me and the AMAZING Sivert Høyem =)

♥ Hugs from Lilli ♥

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Reginedagan 2014 - Fashion show

Here it is... FINALLY!!! The edited video from the fashion show. Hope you all enjoy.
 

Here are also some photos from the makeup I had on =)

Gonna put up some behind the scenes photos tomorrow for you all =)

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Ready for takeoff.

Sitting here waiting to get styled. Catwalk tonight. Bloody nervous...lol

Gonne do a little behind the scenes tomorrow. Today is packed full. 

Here I am befor it all. No makeup and wild hair. 

☕ Vlogeti vlog ☕ Just a little life update =)

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Stimulash Fusion update =)

Figured I would finally get this update on my lashes out there =P I have been putting this off for quite some time but finally found some energy to get it done =P

Here are my lashes befor starting to use Stimulash Fusion.

My lashes about 3-4 weeks into using it.

My lashes today. I have probably been using Stimulash Fusion for about 8-9 weeks now, but I have had these long lashes for about 2 weeks. So after around 6-7 weeks you can see a difference. Yes this one costs a little. I was so lucky to get it as a gift from my mom. But it sure does last a long time. My mom uses hers every night and she has used it for a year. So it lasts a long time =)

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Another sweater =)

Another sweater is now done. I really love being able to make my own. This one is a copy of one that has been on the catwalk =)

It is called the Acne-sweater =)

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Instagram O'hoy =P

A little instagram update from me. I decided I am gonna do some of these collections of what I have done on instagram since I am afterall a instagramaddict =P I think I will stick with 6 photos so that I dont make you look all day and all night =P

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Outshining the sun =)

Me and babygirl had a little photoshoot outside today. She has so many smiles and hugs for me that she always makes my heart happy no matter what =)

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New sweater knitted =)

Sitting here right now with a swollen finger and not able to knit anything at all =( So I just decided I would share my latest project that I have finished.

This is a sweater I had been thinking about making for myself for a long time. I could remember it from somewhere. And my mom could tell me that me grandma had one simular =) This is knitted all from my head. I am trying to get the instructions written down. Just have to make it understandable =P

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☕ Vlogeti vlog ☕ VM in Highland games

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VM in Highland games =)

Today we spent som amazing hours at VM in Highland games here in Alsvåg. It was soooo cool =) Strong men lifting stones. This was the Stones of Strenght contest.

Todays contest was in honor of big Johan Arnt. A huge fisherman from Øksnes. He was 214 cm tall, 160 cm around the chest, 60 cm around each arm and 177 kilos. A biiig man =P

 Some bagpipemusic is a must at Highland games.

 Some of the contestants. They were 7 all together. Todays contest was to carry a funny shaped stone weighing 180 kilo for as long as you can.

Here is my darling son with the winner of todays contest, Casey Garrison from USA. This dude carried 180 kilos a whole of 123 meters. He broke the standing record!
 

And of course I had to get my picture taken with the winner myself too. Such a polite man =)

♥ Hugs from Lilli ♥

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Weekend outfits =)

Last weekend me and my hubby went on a us trip where we got to enjoy each others company without the kids. I had a few outfits that weekend and wanted to share them with you lot =)

 This is the outfit I decided to leave home in.

 But we quickly realized we had to buy me a sweater =P So this was the first purchase of the weekend =P

 And I had to wear it most of the time cause it was freezing and I didnt bring any other warm sweaters =P

And here is my outfit from our datenight. It was so amazing to get to enjoy this time with my darling hubby. =)

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♡ Get ready with me ♡ Datenight

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Amazing summertime!

Can you blame me being annoyed...lol Well we will survive. We are stronger than ever =P

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Pretty new brows =)

And then there was the death of my extrem brows =P My very first time getting them done proffesionally and it really made me want to do it more. It didnt hurt to wax them at all. =P It was actually almost comfortable...hehe Think I might have gotten use to getting them plucked. I can really recomend SpaSpa by Mikkelborg in Harstad. The lady that did my brows were really great at it. At least I think so. Others might think my brows look silly =P But I really dont care. Cause I feel fav with my newly done brows =)

My brows befor my appointment =P Not the best looking brows =P

My brows after getting them done. I think it totally changes the way my eyes look. =)

I am so pleased with the result. Tho as I have always said brows are not twins they are sisters, well mine are still not related =P

Tomorrow there will finally be a new video going up. I am so sorry I have been slacking, life has just been really shitty. I just havent really been able to cope to well with everything. Having people you thought were your friends just up and leave. And it isnt just one person there are more. Feeling left out is a shitty feeling. But it has really made me realize that I just have to say sod it. I have to do what I have said for so long, to do things for myself from now on. Maybe this will make me me again.

♥ Hugs from Lilli ♥

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Nelly is having a sale!!!

And I also just wanted to show you all the pretty things I found on sale this weekend.

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When it is your birthday =)

You should be allowed to be a little silly shouldnt you?

My outfit of the day. And my silly look =P

Babygirl also wanted to be in a picture =)

♥ Hugs from Lilli ♥

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Baking cake!

Since tomorrow is my birthday I decided to bake a cake for us to enjoy. A little sad that my hubby wont be home until late tomorrow evening. But I am gonna enjoy the day with the kids and then my mom and dad are coming over tomorrow evening. 

Oh and my hubbys birthday was today. So gonna save some cake for him =P Cant wait to get him home. And as well we are having a couples weekend away this coming weekend. Really looking forwards to that. =)

♥ Hugs from Lilli ♥

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Beat bullying!

Help beat bullying. Join this website, make your avatar and it will march with us all on june 11th =)

This is my avatar. Click my avatar and join the page =)

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♥ Tutorial ♥ A bright NYX look =)

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Outdoors time =)

Outdoors time with my little princess. We both had to just put our feet up and relax a little. And got to have a mosquitocandle burning if not I will get eaten alive by the mosquitos =)

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A little shopping for me =P

I found some sales in town on friday. Well actually Cubus has salesclothes hanging outside their entrance inside Skibsgården at all times. And I had been looking ar some pants there a while ago and tought I would check it they had my size. Well they didnt, but I found some other pretty things =P

Found this cute sweater with threequarter lenght arms. It was prized at a whooping £4,9 so I will survive the little stain that was on it =P This is a knitted sweater and I simply love knitted things. I cant be bothered to knit everything myself =P And anyways I could never knit a sweater as cheap as £4,9 And I think this was really pretty. It might not be the hottest item out there but it is me. It is a little longer at the back which suits me just perfect =)

Another knitted top =P This is more like a shirt and the yarn is soooooo good. =) The color doesnt show up to well in this photo as it is more of a offwhite color. I think I can get alot of use out of this. Also this one was only £4,9 =P

This dress was the most expencive clothingitem I got for myself. The prize was a amazing £14,9 and I just had to have it. I want to become better at wearing dresses and I figured this was a perfect dress to wear around the house and at the same time not be embaraced if I go to the store in it. =)

Found this tanktop as well. I am a tanktopoholic =P There was another one with turqouise stripes but they didnt have it in my size so I only got this one. The was an amazing £2,9 =P I simply love sales =)

And lastly I found this zebra peplumtop. I had been looking at it a few times befor and now I thought what the heck =) It was only £2,9 All the clothes was found at Cubus in Sortland. And I hope to find many more sales there during the summer =)

And I had to go to Vita (drugstore) to get a new concealer. And of course I ended up having to buy myself a baby lips too, since they have finally arrived in Norway =P And I have already tested it out and oh boy oh boy. Not only does it smell heavenly but it feels amazing. I am really looking forwards to finding out how it works under a lipstick. Baby Lips cost £4,9 at Vita =)

And here is the concealer I bought. It was the makeup artist for Artdeco that did my makeup that time I posted I got a makeover =P This hasnt been tested yet so I will get back to you on how I feel about it. This was £16,5 at Vita =) And to think all of these things I got for only £51,9 I am so pleased. One doesnt need to spend a fortune to find things one like =)

♥ Hugs from Lilli ♥

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A little trip into town...

Hehehe on firday we had a little spontanious trip in to Sortland. We just felt like doing something other than just sitting here, and it was such a grey weather day so we just decided to go. In town there was sunny and nice. Found some stuff on sale, but gonna have to split that up into two posts =P One mommy shopping one and one princess one (since she got the most) =P

We had a little stop in Lifjord just to take some photos of me =P These pants are the ones I use the most, I simply love them. =P I wish I had many more like it. The jacket was a meant to be buy when we were in Harstad last summer. I had wanted a leather jacket like it for ages but we had never had the money to get me one. Well we were just looking around at the sales in the shops in Harstad and in Kappahl we found it. It was the very last one left and it was in my size. It was marked down from £179,5 to a measly £39,9 I call that a bargain =P

Here is a photo of my makeup. It doesnt show up so well in the photo but I used both my new NYX trios =)

The makeup shows up a little better here. I still have alot to teach hubby about taking photos =P

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♥ Tutorial ♥ Nyx Love in Rio

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Just a few pictures =)

 My outfit when we were out for a walk today =P

 When thinking I can look so lost =P

A closeup of the eyelook I had filmed and that the video was ruined =P

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☕ Vlogeti vlog ☕ A few small updates

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When you no longer...

Are a part of the family.

I have a whole part of my family that I feel dont think we are a part of their family. A few of them actually do care and it hurts that the others dont. And I have found it is enough, it should never have been my responsibility to stay in touch. I made a really huge effort 3 years ago, when I got married. And the way I feel about it now is I could have saved alot of money if I hadnt sent out all those invitations. Alot of them didnt even bother to reply. It hurts me to mean so little to someone. I have always loved that side of the family, but the joy of it all is slowly withering away. Now I just feel stupid if I run into anyone of them, I feel like I cant go visit them cause I am a stranger to them. But I know I am strong and I have two other sides of my family that do care alot. One of them might be small but they are there. The family that dont care I feel even such things as if someone is hurt in the family I dont even get to hear from them. I still have a nan alive on that side of the family but I doubt I will get to hear if anything happenes. And it isnt hard to get in touch with someone now a days, even without a phonenumber. There is such a thing as facebook chat. But enough is enough.

This amazing moment in my life is one they missed. This is a moment that will never come back. Sure there are pictures, but seeing it in a picture isnt the same as having been there to see for one self. I am worth so much more. If they had only bothered to get to know me they would have seen how amazing I really am. I have one major flaw I care to much about people. Even if they dont care about me. I think about them all every day. I check their facebook to see what is going on in their lives. But I wont comment and I wont like anything. Because I just need to not care a little too.

But I also wanna say to those that do care I love you so much. You mean so much to me.

♥ Hugs from Lilli ♥

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