When you no longer...

Are a part of the family.

I have a whole part of my family that I feel dont think we are a part of their family. A few of them actually do care and it hurts that the others dont. And I have found it is enough, it should never have been my responsibility to stay in touch. I made a really huge effort 3 years ago, when I got married. And the way I feel about it now is I could have saved alot of money if I hadnt sent out all those invitations. Alot of them didnt even bother to reply. It hurts me to mean so little to someone. I have always loved that side of the family, but the joy of it all is slowly withering away. Now I just feel stupid if I run into anyone of them, I feel like I cant go visit them cause I am a stranger to them. But I know I am strong and I have two other sides of my family that do care alot. One of them might be small but they are there. The family that dont care I feel even such things as if someone is hurt in the family I dont even get to hear from them. I still have a nan alive on that side of the family but I doubt I will get to hear if anything happenes. And it isnt hard to get in touch with someone now a days, even without a phonenumber. There is such a thing as facebook chat. But enough is enough.

This amazing moment in my life is one they missed. This is a moment that will never come back. Sure there are pictures, but seeing it in a picture isnt the same as having been there to see for one self. I am worth so much more. If they had only bothered to get to know me they would have seen how amazing I really am. I have one major flaw I care to much about people. Even if they dont care about me. I think about them all every day. I check their facebook to see what is going on in their lives. But I wont comment and I wont like anything. Because I just need to not care a little too.

But I also wanna say to those that do care I love you so much. You mean so much to me.

♥ Hugs from Lilli ♥

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